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If you possessed the power to grant five wishes to those who love you most, what would you give them? Long-life? Wealth? True love? Eternal life? Health? All these sound great, but what about presenting them with peace of heart and confident assurance that emanates from knowing your final wishes. With all the uncertainty assigned to this wonderful journey we call life, it becomes expedient on our part to listen to our medical health professionals. In our blog entitled, “Community Collection Pot,” Shemika Mitchell, a Nurse Practitioner, confronts our mortality every day. Medical professionals become overwhelmed with images of watching their patients slide into eternity, sometimes all alone. We see that this sobering reality has ripped the ‘J’ out of joy for so many of them. However, Nurse Practitioner Mitchell presents us with some hope and assurance and peace amid this pandemic. 

 

Your One Love–Family

Consider today what your loved ones will need to know should they have to decide for your medical care should you become incapable of deciding for yourself. Albeit, no one really wants to address this possibility, but all too often, someone we love may face such a dilemma. How deep is your love for them? How great is your love for them? What possessions do you plan to leave them? What keepsakes that mean so much to you do you intend to give them? I hear the inner call of so many, “I love them with all my heart.” or “I’ll give my life for my hearts, mi familia.” If you truly mean what you said, and if I mean what I said, we must grant our loved one the greatest gift, outside of the gift of salvation, the gift of our 5-Wishes.

 

True love transcends distance and time. Love comforts and consoles the achings. Love triumphs! A life filled with love brings joy and gratitude for life and treasured relationships. But then comes the time when we must choose to prepare with love as our focus. If we neglect to prepare this offering of love for our loved ones, they will carry the burden, not clearly knowing how to attend to the task for your medical care or final wishes. 

 

Now, will we all agree? We want the very best for our loved ones, and we want to give them the very best of ourselves, right? Well, if this be true (ebonics intended, LOL), many of us have work to do. Let’s get started today. This plan may take a while to compose, so we’ll do a little each day until we complete it.

 

Your 5-Wishes

Wish Gift 1–

The person I want to make health care decisions for me when I can’t make my own decision:

Who do you trust to make decisions about your care? Choose someone who will honor your request. The person doesn’t have to be your blood-kin, but a family member in heart or a professional, trustworthy person who gives you peace of heart. If it’s a better fit, divide your responsibilities between the people. For instance, my sister is responsible for my mother’s financial matters, and I handle her health and home. Important: Ensure the person is aware that you’ve given this responsibility and ensure the person is willing to serve in this capacity. I informed one of my goddaughters that I need her to assist my children in my afterlife arrangements, and she initially refused. However, when I told her that all she has to do is follow the script, she agreed. She’s good at that and has integrity.

 

Wish Gift 2–

My wish for the kind of medical treatment I want and don’t want:

It’s a tremendous gift to your loved ones when you state exactly what you want and don’t want regarding your medical care and transitioning needs. It becomes most stressful for the family to make life and death decisions about another person’s life. I had that experience with my mother, and I tell you–STRESSFUL. I didn’t want to make the wrong decision. I didn’t want to haggle with either my siblings or hers over why I made such decisions. When we came through that valley, I insisted that she structure what she wanted to have done in this regard. Geesh! No, bueno. On the other hand, my father-in-law called his children together and mapped out everything he wanted and expected them to do. He did this over the years when anything changed with his condition. When crossed over into eternity on June 30, 2020, everyone moved in harmony to fulfill his wishes. 

 

Wish Gift 3–

My wish for how comfortable I want to be:

Even before Dad’s departure, my husband and his siblings knew how to engage with their dad because he gave them such a wonderful gift–his wish-gift of what he desired. Priceless. Preparing your loved ones with the wish-gift of bringing comfort to you if you’re no longer able to do it, helps bring so much peace to them. You demonstrate love in action with this simple preparation gesture. If you don’t feel comfortable engaging in this loving conversation, then write a letter to your family and send it to them. Let them know how much you love them and what details they’ll need to make sure you’re comfortable.

 

Wish Gift 4–

My wish for how I want people to treat me:

One of the most poignant expressions that flood my memory is a note posted over my Uncle Buddy’s bed. My cousin Harold wrote, “This is Huey Blacksher. Treat him like he’s your family.” I didn’t know Harold, but I knew he’s the kind of person I’d want looking after me if I couldn’t do it myself. When I arrived to visit Uncle Buddy, I knew the staff understood that this man had a loving family. Harold’s sign made that point clear. I know my mother prefers medical professionals who are receptive to including holistic methods in her treatment. Whenever possible, we seek that path. However, we’ve had the heart-to-heart that if the holistic approach doesn’t prove successful, we will allow the traditional treatment to get through the crisis. Important: Share your desired plan for treatment, but leave one or two alternative methods so that you don’t tie your family’s hand. 

  

Wish Gift 5–

My wish for what I want my loved ones to know:

We’ve all seen movies with a family member learning some overwhelming news in a letter or will. I’m quite conflicted about this idea. Some things are just plain ole hard to discuss. These kinds of topics never really have a “right-time.” However, there possibly is a wrong time–after we’re gone and cannot bring clarification or explanation. If we refuse to stay around to pick up the fractured pieces that the information may cause, it may be better to take it with us to the afterlife. On the other side, we all will know all things, even as we are fully known. But if you strongly feel that you want a loved one to know something about you, pray for courage to get it said. Love conquers all. In life, desperate times may have caused us to make desperate decisions of which bring great shame. Again, true love covers a multitude of sins. Forgive those who’ve caused you pain and disappointment. Forgiveness from our Creator is an awesome gift. Forgiveness extended toward family, friends, or foes liberates those people, but we, too, experience weights lifted from our souls. None should straddle on the fence of “if I coulda, shoulda, woulda…” done this or that. We have today. Use today. Love today. Prepare today. Forgive today. Move forward today. But most of all, GET READY TODAY. 

 

Prepare your wish-gift. Start today, and share it with family as you’re getting ready. Make your plan to live long and prosper, and make your plan to leave this earthly pilgrimage. Reminder: We are triune beings, we live in a body, and we possess a soul and a spirit. Make a plan to address each area and share your wish-gift with your loved ones.

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR. Here’s to a strong finish because we’ve invested in a bedrock start.

 

Peace and Blessings

 

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